.. L O S T...

Hi <--Ross' Tone,
Woke up lifelessly today..i had a bad feeling about today..as if sumthin was about to happen...sumthin bad~..got up lifelessly but still holding on to my strength and got ready and off to work..

At the office, was trying sooo hard to get my mind of things..as sooo many things had happened to me..a lot~ I might not look like im in trouble or depression or what-so-ever-down-sad kinda feeling..coz i always keep eveerything to myself unless i feel so damn STUFFED then i have to let it out to someone. I tried sooo hard to concentrate on doin my paper work today.And as i opened my e-mail,there!i did my first mistake, i Forgot to sent out an "invitation letter" to BLNG.but good thing the expected date of arrival is not until next week.so i still have time.when that happened,i got a feeling that more are comin...more bad things were gonna hpnd to me today..

And again,I was right..I was told about sumthin about that someone from THE somebody~ This time,i coudnt hide it anymore..tears were fallin..head spinnin..i guess,i wasn't ready to hear what i was told..i thought i was..i guess im still not strong enough..Been thru this quite awhile..but im still not used to this feelings..Sigh..I can't work like this..Im just so..CRUSHED. Every tears,Laughters..everything..just flashes back..right in front of my eyes..even right now..

There is no way i can explain what ever is happening to me right now and all of these years.
This suffocates me.I hate being like this.I hate this feeling.I want ME back..